Nothing, that’s what.
I had a frustrating day yesterday –five hours with Delta online and phone trying to straighten out a change they made in our flights. During the last hour of it, as I was talking to the agent or on hold, Mom called me eight times and left five messages.
It’s become clear the anesthesia has sent her reeling into dementia.
But this morning, after I went to see her, I saw two women who had clearly come to visit someone. One of them was developmentally disabled, and the other used a cane, but probably really needed a walker.
I felt ashamed of myself. What right did/do I have to feel sorry for myself when things don’t go my way when there are people in the world whose every action requires just that extra bit of effort?
Sometimes I just need to get over myself and remember that whatever I’m dealing with, someone else is struggling with something far worse.
That’s all — just in case someone else needed a reminder too.
The Byrd and the Bees 
I do that myself. I am working on not being so judgmental. I try to be thankful for my good life. The last time I felt really good how things were going and saying to myself: Man, I am really thankful for how things are going, Don died. So, I am REALLY grateful for my life now! More grateful for family and we’re all trying to be closer than we were. If more people just tried to be empathetic to what others are going through, life would be less stressful. You have a good heart, Kym.
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Thanks, Sue. I think it’s good to sometimes be reminded that other people often are carrying great burdens, even those we can’t see. And knowing we will all eventually leave this earth reminds me to try to fill each day with as many good things as I can … and try not to get too hung up when that is beyond my power.
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Others may have greater burdens, but that doesn’t diminish your suffering. The important takeaway is that you are trying to be more mindful of your blessings despite the challenges. Sending loving thoughts to uplift you, and gratitude for so clearly expressing the feelings many of us struggle with.
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Thanks, Lynne. Soooo many people have it much worse, and I think it’s always good to remember that. I am not suffering, unless you count the sadness I feel watching Mom’s struggles, which is, I suppose, something like suffering.
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True, but all of us feel overwhelmed at times! Hang in there!
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Thanks, Betsy. That’s how I felt as I entered my fifth hour (NOT exaggerating) dealing with Delta and mom started calling repeatedly. Trapped would be another word for it!
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While it’s always lovely to acknowledge what blessings we do have – you’re also entitled to feel all your feelings! Especially as it pertains to your parent.
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Thanks, Angie. It was good to reminded that personally I do have things quite good, at least for now. I just feel very sad for mom.
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Yes.
On my bad days, it’s good to remember that a) things are not really *that* bad; b) my bad day is a good day for someone else; and c) I am lucky to *have* days to feel bad in.
You don’t need to get over yourself; feeling crappy is allowed. What does help is reframing those feelings in the context of the bigger picture. You are missing the person your mother was, and you are afraid of what the future holds for you both. These are natural fears, natural sadness, nothing selfish there. Go ahead and feel them. I give you permission to be sad and worried.
Hugs.
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Thanks, Kate. You put it well. I do feel sad for her and worried about how things will go.
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