Walking Alone

I went for a walk today — not earth-shattering news, to be sure — since I usually walk a few days a week. This time, however, I walked by myself, which is something I almost never do.

The route was familiar, the activity trail at a local park, and as I strolled, I found myself pondering three great mysteries.

The first question weighing on my mind was why, oh why, had I left my Yak Trax in the car, and would I manage to not slip and break a bone on the ice? Since this post is not about a visit to the Emergency Room, you know my conclusions on that one.

The second query was a new one: Is there some winter exception to dog care etiquette I don’t know about? I ask because there were piles of canine excrement all along the path, sullying what would otherwise have been a beautiful, if somewhat treacherous, walk. Apparently, the owners of what appear to be many dogs seem to feel cold weather and snow gives them license to ignore their pooch poop duties. It is as if freezing weather makes it okay to demonstrate a lack of regard for the park and others who use it. Can anyone can explain this type of logic? If so, please leave a comment so the rest of us can understand.

My last thoughts weren’t so much a mystery as a sad reflection.

As mentioned above, I rarely walk alone and for a good reason. Although we live in an area of relatively low crime, I don’t feel safe in a park that, although easily accessible, can be at times deserted.

Do a search for “woman abducted,” then do another for “man abducted,” and perhaps you’ll begin to see why I feel this way.

The first search provides multiple hits about women taken against their wills. The second list of hits is evenly divided between men being taken, and men who kidnapped women.

Is this because women are more likely to be victims of this type of violence? My gut feeling is yes, though I can’t provide statistics to back this up.

While searching, I did come across this report that says a man is far more likely to be victim of sexual violence than to be falsely accused of rape [at least in the UK, where the survey was taken] Completely off the subject, but interesting nonetheless, don’t you think?

I remember when I first realized there was a difference in how men and women perceive the safety of a given situation. It was about thirty years ago, and I was driving home late at night from my evening shift at a restaurant. At that time, there was a serial rapist operating in the area, so I was even more vigilant than normal about locking my car doors and being aware of my surroundings.

When I was nearly home, just a few blocks from our apartment, I saw an elderly man walking alone and thought, “That man, even though he’s old and feeble, walking by himself late at night, will never and probably has never had to worry about being raped. He might be mugged for his wallet, but he almost certainly doesn’t have to worry about sexual violence.”

It was an epiphany to think that half the human population had the privilege of being able to view the world so differently from the other half.

I’ll admit I wasn’t always so cautious. When I was in my twenties, I used to regularly cycle alone before going to work. And although I always enjoyed those morning rides, soon after the “old man epiphany,” I dropped the habit.

So, walking alone today was an anomaly. And, obviously nothing happened because I’m here writing this post.

Still, when I reached a particularly empty part of the trail and saw a man standing alone staring at the sledding hill, bereft of children and parents on this schoolday morning, it made me nervous.

What was he doing there? Why the strange interest in an empty hill?

I’ve no idea, but when I got closer, I saw he was older than me, and I figured I could outrun him if I had to.

You may laugh; that was exactly what I thought.

Later, as I approached the car park, I heard a man cough behind me and jumped enough that he apologized, saying he’d cleared his throat so he didn’t startle me by suddenly looming up beside me.

Am I crazy? Paranoid? Overly careful? I’m not sure.

I can only say I believe women experience the world we live in very differently than men experience it.

Do I think that will ever change?

Not really.

But it would be nice if more men realized such a difference exists.